They say that the boy scout, Al Gore,

They say that the boy scout, Al Gore,
Is really more like a male whore.
His Inconvenient Truth
Is sleeping with Ruth,
And Margery and Agnes and more.

They claim that the Tea Party is racist –

They claim that the Tea Party is racist –
A spurious claim with no basis,
The signs and the banners
Are simply bad manners,
There’s no hatred. Well, maybe just traces.

The owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers

The owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers
For LeBron James had nothing but jeers
In his overnight letter
(Though he should have know better)
That was liberally stained with his tears.

In the world of competitive eating,

In the world of competitive eating,
Kobiyashi has taken a beating.
He’d been out-dogged by Joe
For 3 years in a row,
So this year he stayed in the seating . . .

. . . where, because of a dispute with Major League Eating over appearance fees, he watched Joey Chestnut win his fourth Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Championship, until he couldn’t take it any more and rushed the stage, where he was arrested for trespassing and for desecrating the sanctity of the annual event.

At the Mets game, Lady Gaga, they say

At the Mets game, Lady Gaga, they say
Showed off her mammary array.
She flashed her high beams
At the opposing teams
To make them hit into a double play.

It’s been a year since we lost Michael Jackson

It’s been a year since we lost Michael Jackson
Who still has a rabid fan faction.
He was a hit-maker
But I’m a head-shaker,
I just don’t understand the attraction.

Talk about your wild record breaker!

Talk about your wild record breaker!
At Wimbledon, it's a “take-the-caker”,
An 11-hour match
Before one could dispatch.
Why, they scored more points that the Lakers!

Hooray! The U. S. is advancing!

Hooray! The U. S. is advancing!
It’s time for the singing and dancing.
Even I can beat Ghana
With my aunts and my nana
After giving the French team a pantsing.

U. S. females are licking their lips

U. S. females are licking their lips
For the next Twilight movie – Eclipse.
Those hunky vampires
Will be igniting fires
In their eyes, in their hearts, in their hips.

The Prez says he’ll make BP pay

The Prez says he’ll make BP pay
To which I must reply, “Hooray”.
‘Cause when I’m buying fuel
And I spill, I’m the fool
Who picks up the tab right away.

I admit it. I’ve got World Cup fever.

I admit it. I’ve got World Cup fever.
South Africa, I am a believer.
Ignore all the needles
For the giant dung beetles.
They beat Vancouver’s inflatable beaver.

Let’s hear it for good old BP

Let’s hear it for good old BP
Who’s giving its oil away free.
Get your son and your daughter
And scoop it out of the water
And pour it straight into your Humvee.

Rest in peace, dear Gary Coleman

Rest in peace, dear Gary Coleman
TV Nation’s number one soulman.
We loved him as Arnold,
And when running against Arnold.
For him, Heaven’s Gate has no toll, man.

Senate candidate Linda McHahon,

Senate candidate Linda McHahon,
Of the WWE wrestling clan,
With a flying drop kick
Won the GOP pick.
Guess the Bay Staters are all rasslin’ fans.

Fox News and MSNBC earn

Fox News and MSNBC earn
Reputations that cause some concern.
They must think (I guess),
That “Freedom of the press”
Means “Hit someone with a steam iron”.