Monday, September 28, 2009

There's a 10-year-old that we call Blogger

There's a 10-year-old that we call Blogger,
The best opinion cataloger.
Click on a link,
Find out what we think.
Just what might 10 more years augur?

At the UN, Moammar Gadhafi

At the UN, Moammar Gadhafi
Made a speech both rambling and daffy.
He called Obama, “Our son.”
And pissed off everyone
Faster than a camel hair frappe.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Can the Lions go 14 and 2?

Can the Lions go 14 and 2?
I’m sure that they can, aren’t you?
They’ve had two good halfs
With just a few gaffes.
What more can we ask them to do?

Go Detroit! Beat the Native Americans!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

For 250 great years

For 250 great years
Guiness has brewed magnificent beers.
So let’s raise a glass,
Every laddie and lass,
And with one world-wide voice, shout out, “Cheers!”

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Can the Lions fo 15 and 1?

Can the Lions go 15 and 1?
I believe that they can get it done.
Though, the first loot at Stafford
Was a bit of a laugher,
He still might be our favorite son.

Go Detroit. Beat the Vikings.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Can the Lions go 16 and 0?

Can the Lions go 16 and 0?
Dear God, I surely hope so.
No wins in ‘08
Was just so ungreat
I almost moved to Kokomo.

Go Detroit. Beat the Saints.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Two - A - Days continue -- A fellow who grew up in Pittsburgh

A fellow who grew up in Pittsburgh
Now lives with the Duchess of Hapsburg.
He said, “It’s an art.
To steal ‘er cold heart.
It’s like making love to an iceburg.

Happy opening game!

A guy I know in Arizona

A guy I know in Arizona
Will never have sex with a moana.
You can scream, you can shout,
You can throw things about,
But don’t break the cardinal rule. No bologna

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Two - A 0 Days continue -- This bachelor down in Tennessee

This bachelor down in Tennessee
Plies his women with Lynchburg whisky.
He says, “Two shots gets them tight, and
“Two more and they might’en
“Get a little more looser and frisky.”

This fellow who lives in New York

This fellow who lives in New York
Is thought to be a giant dork.
He hands out headsets
On passenger jets.
And claims that it’s challenging work.

Two - A - Days continue -- Said a mom to her girl in Philadelphia

Said a mom to her girl in Philadelphia
“Don’t put your love on a shelf, Mia..
“Soar like an eagle,
Be proud and regal.
Not a whore like your sister, Cordellia.

The citizens of proud Baltimore

The citizens of proud Baltimore
Have Edgar Allen Poe to adore.
The Rue Morgue. The Raven.
The Tell Tale Heart is my faverin.
Forget that great poet? Nevermore

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Two - A - Days continue -- This elderly man in Carolina

This elderly man in Carolina
Makes prank phone calls from his reclina.
He’s a raver, a ranter,
A breather, and a panter.
(And you thought the last word was ______.)

This hooker down in San Diego

This hooker down in San Diego
Is so hot. You could call her “enfuego”.
But the best part, you see
Is she gives it for free.
Not a charger? Why didn’t you say so?

Monday, September 7, 2009

Two - A - Days continue -- This woman in Indianapolis

This woman in Indianapolis
Likes to ride through the countryside braless.
To watch her on her colt
Is not much of a jolt
Because the poor girl is ta-ta-less.

There was a young girl in Atlanta

There was a young girl in Atlanta
Who’ll say anything that she’ll wanta.
It’s falkin’ this and falkin’ that;
Where the falk is my hat.
For sure, she’s getting nothing from Santa.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Two - A - Days continue -- A jai-alai star in Minnesota

A jai-alai star in Minnesota
Had moved up North from Sarasota.
“I relish the cold
Like a Viking of old
But I wish I had brought my pelota.”

There was a young man from Miami

There was a young man from Miami
Who fashioned a boat from a chami.
It sank right away
But our boy was okay.
In the dolphin tank at the Aquariuami.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Two - A - Days continue -- There is a young girl in New England

There is a young girl in New England
Picks up guys in the bars with her girlfriend.
But no man gets a claim
With a foreign last name.
‘Cause they are patriots to the end.

This fellow who lives in New York

This fellow who lives in New York
Is thought to be a giant dork.
He hands out headsets
On passenger jets.
And claims that it’s challenging work.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Two - A - Days continue -- This pretty young wife down in Dallas

This pretty young wife down in Dallas
Feels trapped in her man’s “Cowboy palace”.
For, she misses her home,
And her kin up in Nome
And the beautiful aurora borealis.

A forgetful young man in Chicago

A forgetful young man in Chicago
Was on the stage playing Iago,
But he was not aware
That waist down he was bare
Which the audience saw as bravado.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Two - A- Days continue -- A tanning salon clerk in Washington

A tanning salon clerk in Washington
Said, “I tan with just a g-string on.
So, where my red skin ends
Is where your fun begins.
Yeah, you could think of me as a sure thing, Son.”

A working girl in Tampa Bay

A working girl in Tampa Bay
Charges $100 per lay
If that price makes you balk
And you just want to talk,
Just one buck an ear’s what you pay.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Two - A - Days cpntinue -- A young college do-ed in Denver

A young college co-ed in Denver
Went out on a weekend-long bender.
She woke naked and drunk
On a mechanical bronc.
Oh!
She did not know how long she’d been there.

A libidinous woman from Houston

A libidinous woman from Houston
Said, “I’m gonna tell you the truth, son.
You can’t beat the sexin’
You get from a Texan,
Even though they all leave them ol’ boots on.”

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Two - A - Days continue -- My old friend Bill loves Buffalo

My old friend Bill loves Buffalo
Where it often gets 20 below.
He keeps his hands warm enough
In his wife’s fur-lined muff.
Though, her ___ does get cold, don’t you know

This girl I know down in New Orleans

This girl I know down in New Orleans
Looks pretty damn good in those jeans.
She says, “S’ain’t no doubt,
“I look better without
‘Em.” I think you know what she means.