We’ve watched them pursue Olympic dreams

We’ve watched them pursue Olympic dreams

While swimming or dancing on beams.

         But some of those sports

         Put me out of sorts.

I want more beach volleyball teams.

The Morality Police are quite pissed,

The Morality Police are quite pissed,

Since Superman and Wonder Woman kissed.

         Good thing they don’t know

         That just one year ago,

Batman and Catwoman were undressed.

Since Romney won’t release all his taxes,

Since Romney won’t release all his taxes,

Obama just sits back and relaxes.

         ‘Cause he’s got Joe Biden

         Out yelling, “Just what is he hidin’”

So it does not matter what the facts is.

Here’s to the great Michael Phelps (revisited one more time)

Here’s to the great Michael Phelps

Whose achievement caused much cheers and yelps

         It takes lots of mettle

         To win eight gold medals

And that .01 second sure helps.

Here’s to the great Michael Phelps

Whose bong photo caused much cheers and yelps

         The role model’s creed

Says, “The smoking of weed

Near a picture phone almost never helps.

It OK for gay folks to be wed,

It OK for gay folks to be wed,

At least that’s what the President said.

         Why shouldn’t they

         Wake up every day

Wishing to God they were dead?

There was an Olympian named Bruce

There was an Olympian named Bruce

With enough sex appeal for a moose.

         Now his step-daughters dash

         About like tabloid trash

Faster than a sprinter on “juice”.

Look out, I’ve got Olypmic fever.

Look out, I’ve got Olypmic fever.

I’m training as a javelin retriever,

         A soccer foul faker,

         Freelance drug test taker,

Or official Jamacian dreadlocks weaver.