There once was a woman named Natalie

There once was a woman named Natalie

Who as a young girl was too tattlely.

          Now she works every day

          At the damned NSA

Listening in  to our cell phone prattlery.

CNN and Fox will both shout it

CNN and Fox will both shout it,

“Government Shutdown!”.  But I doubt it.

          But let us suppose

          That they do let it close,

We just might do better without it.

The First Lady almost caused a slaughter,

The First Lady almost caused a slaughter,

But our vigilant reporters caught her.

          Now she will think twice

          Before giving advice,

Like telling us all to drink water.

9/11 demonstrated

9/11 demonstrated

Americans were underrated.

          But bravery of those

          Who chose to oppose

Fear and terror cannot be debated.

 

In memoriam to the passengers and crew of Flight 93.

Don’t mention that Snowden to me

Don’t mention that Snowden to me.

He’s weakened our security.

          He leaked NSA spying

          So now he is lying

In Russia, the land of the free.

Your world will not be wrecked

Your world will not be wrecked

If a movie Batman is Affleck’d

          If you don’t want to see him,

          Go to a museum.

That’ll show them that they’re incorrect.

I don’t watch TV like I used to.

I don’t watch TV like I used to.

I don’t like the celebrity frou-frou.

          Fat guys become stars

By repoing cars?

And I cannot abide “Honey Boo Boo”.

Why did the Jersey gov, Chris Christie

Why did the Jersey gov, Chris Christie,

Get his stomach reduced with a twisty?

          Not since William H. Taft

          (As big as a life raft)

Could an overweight candidate persisty.

To escape from the partisan scoffin'

To escape from the partisan scoffin’

Some Presidents liked to go golfin’.

          But Obama, it seems,

          Likes to hang out with teams

Like the ’62 Miami Dolphins.

 

 

 

After its unbeaten season and 1972 Super Bowl victory, the NFL’s Miami Dolphins did not visit President Nixon in the White House, probably due to the ongoing Watergate scandal.  As the 40^th anniversary nears, President Obama has extended a invitation to the team for a White House visit and tour.  Probably just to get another “Obama 1” jersey.

 

 

Say goodbye soon to Alex Rodriguez

Say goodbye soon to Alex Rodriguez

Who used drugs to improve his bodriduez.

         Of course he will appeal,

         But most of us feel

To win out, he’ll need help from Godriguez.

The next person who asks ‘bout the weather.

The next person who asks ‘bout the weather.

(Be he or she in lace or leather)

          Will receive a hot blast

          Of cold curses surpassed

Only by lightning and hailstones together.

Would Zimmerman kill Travon? Now, would he?

Would Zimmerman kill Travon?  Now, would he?

Could Travon have killed George? Well, could he?

          I really don’t know,

          But if down there I go,

I’m sure that I won’t wear a hoodie.

Twinkies will be on the store shelves soon

Twinkies will be on the store shelves soon.

(Please catch me.  I fear I might swoon.)

          I was going steady

          With that slut, Little Debbie.

Take me back or my life is a ruin.

I’m tired of watching George Zimmerman.

I’m tired of watching George Zimmerman.

This coverage has be simmermin’

          It’s on every news show

          Everywhere that I go,

Except ads to make me a slimmer man.

In the Victorian Age in America

In the Victorian Age in America

Women often came down with “hysteria”.

          A doctor would ease

          This dreaded disease

With manual stimulation “down theria”* 

*See “How Sex Changed History” on one of those History Channels.