Why did the Jersey gov, Chris Christie

Why did the Jersey gov, Chris Christie,

Get his stomach reduced with a twisty?

          Not since William H. Taft

          (As big as a life raft)

Could an overweight candidate persisty.

To escape from the partisan scoffin'

To escape from the partisan scoffin’

Some Presidents liked to go golfin’.

          But Obama, it seems,

          Likes to hang out with teams

Like the ’62 Miami Dolphins.

 

 

 

After its unbeaten season and 1972 Super Bowl victory, the NFL’s Miami Dolphins did not visit President Nixon in the White House, probably due to the ongoing Watergate scandal.  As the 40^th anniversary nears, President Obama has extended a invitation to the team for a White House visit and tour.  Probably just to get another “Obama 1” jersey.

 

 

Say goodbye soon to Alex Rodriguez

Say goodbye soon to Alex Rodriguez

Who used drugs to improve his bodriduez.

         Of course he will appeal,

         But most of us feel

To win out, he’ll need help from Godriguez.

The next person who asks ‘bout the weather.

The next person who asks ‘bout the weather.

(Be he or she in lace or leather)

          Will receive a hot blast

          Of cold curses surpassed

Only by lightning and hailstones together.

Would Zimmerman kill Travon? Now, would he?

Would Zimmerman kill Travon?  Now, would he?

Could Travon have killed George? Well, could he?

          I really don’t know,

          But if down there I go,

I’m sure that I won’t wear a hoodie.

Twinkies will be on the store shelves soon

Twinkies will be on the store shelves soon.

(Please catch me.  I fear I might swoon.)

          I was going steady

          With that slut, Little Debbie.

Take me back or my life is a ruin.

I’m tired of watching George Zimmerman.

I’m tired of watching George Zimmerman.

This coverage has be simmermin’

          It’s on every news show

          Everywhere that I go,

Except ads to make me a slimmer man.

In the Victorian Age in America

In the Victorian Age in America

Women often came down with “hysteria”.

          A doctor would ease

          This dreaded disease

With manual stimulation “down theria”* 

*See “How Sex Changed History” on one of those History Channels.

The National Security Agency

The National Security Agency

Is charged with insuring that we are free.

          But, they need to show

          Why they want to know

How often those girls hang up on me.

There once was a fellow named Roky

There once was a fellow named Roky

Who led a life some would call rocky.

          He fought mental illness,

          The shocks and a pill mess

But he’s back making music most ROCKY. 

For Roky Erickson of the 13^th Floor Elevators, who produced the first great psychedelic rock song, “You’re Gonna Miss Me.”  Put it on your playlist, NOW.

 

I feel sad for those at Headline News,

I feel sad for those at Headline News,

Suffering from “Post-Arias Blues”.

          Poor Nancy and Drew

          Have nothing to do

But watch Vinnie and Jane read their reviews.

The “Smuggling Mom” has been cleared

The “Smuggling Mom” has been cleared.

Her criminal record is desmeared.

          At last, that old line,

          “I swear it’s not mine,”

Was held up by a judge, and not jeered. 

There once was a woman named Cindy

There once was a woman named Cindy

Who wanted to race cars at Indy.

         She’s shown to drive well, yet,

She won’t wear a helmet,

Since her hair looks so nice when it’s windy.  

DC cancelled the Legion and the Knights

DC cancelled the Legion and the Knights.

Out space heroes also said their “Good nights”.

      But, say it aint so . .

      He just got here, you know.

Slicing K’Rot is a terrible slight.

 

DC Entertainment has candelled a few comic book titles due to poor sales;  The Legion of Super-Heroes, a feature introduced in 1958 and published somewhat regularly since the 1960’s; The Demon Knights, a series set in medieval Britain, featuring a number of long-time DC characters; and Threshold, which was a collection of classic characters from DC space-faring comic books, including a new incarnation of Captain Carrot, from DC’s great funny animal series, Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew.  Don’t worry, most of the characters will surface in wome other series, probably kissing Wonder Woman.

Go after those IRS drones!

Go after those IRS drones!

Stop the poking at the Tea Party bones!

         We all should stand and plaudit

         A Congressional audit,

But, let those without sin cast the stones.