Keep your eye on Hillary Clinton

Keep your eye on Hillary Clinton
She wears new contacts to stop squintin’.
          For it’s looks over brains
          When a woman campaigns.
So give that hair anti-grey tintin’.

If I was a gay business owna

If I was a gay business owna
Who lived in sunny Arizona
          I would never invite
          Anyone from the Right
Who did not deny his (or her) persona

At last, the Olympic closing rites!

At last, the Olympic closing rites!
NBC will give back out nights.
            No more half-pipe or curling
            Or triple axel trirling
And no more hockey without fights.

The beloved star of the screen

The beloved star of the screen,
Shirley Temple, has wrapped her last sene.
She lives on in our hearts
By mixing three parts
Of soda with one Grenadine.

 

There once was a fellow named Ed

There once was a fellow named Ed –
The “Toast of the Town*” it was said.
         On his “rilly big shoe**”
         He brought me and you
The “Fab Four” and the invasion they led.

*The newspaper column that Ed Sullivan wrote in New York

**How Ed Sullivan pronounced “really big show”

Fifty years ago, the Beatles first appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show and changed American music forever.

Wjen I got “Fifty Shades of Grey”

Wjen I got “Fifty Shades of Grey”
I stopped reading one-tenth of the way.
          It’s not about décor
          For the color-blind, or
A sunglasses ad from Ban Ray.

The weather for Super Bowl Sunday

The weather for Super Bowl Sunday
Was perfect for everyone’s fun day.
          But did Roger Goodell
          By sheer force of his will
Hold back all the snow until Monday?

There once was a fellow named Russell

There once was a fellow named Russell
Who came out on top in a tussle
          With Peyton and friend
          Despite many portends
By using his much maligned muscle.

The teams have sharply honed their tricks

The teams have sharply honed their tricks
And the fans have hotly argued their picks.
          Super Bowl XLVIII
          Just might be so great,
But I’m waiting for Super Bowl XLIX.