Miters* off to the retiring Pope,

Miters* off to the retiring Pope,

That he has a good life, I do hope.

         He should sail the Med Sea,

         Drive a Lamborghini,

Or ski down a pristine Alpine slope. 

*Miter – noun - the official headdress of a bishop in the Western Church, in its modern form a tall cap with a top deeply cleft crosswise, the outline of the front and back resembling that of a pointed arch.  

So, the comics have killed off poor Robin

So, the comics have killed off poor Robin

Leaving Batman just broken and sobbin’.

         But tragedy entails

         Phenomenal sales,

So the fans at the shops will be mobbin’.

They say Danica is on the pole.

They say Danica is on the pole.

I can only say, “God bless her soul!”

         Then I heard she’s no stripper;

Or fire suit unzipper.

Just a girl with first place as her goal.

 

I keep hearing about this sequester.

I keep hearing about this sequester.

In the words of my good friend, Sylvester,

“Sufferin’ succotash!”

We get by on less cash,

While Congress lets our economy fester.

The award shows are asking those attending;

The award shows are asking those attending;

(The stars and those just pretending)

         Please keep cleavage subtle

(both boobal and buttal)

To minimize any chance of offending.

The asteroid that zoomed past the moon

The asteroid that zoomed past the moon

Sent us a message; “How ya doin’

         Where’s the black monolith

         That we jump-started you with?

We might need to use it again.”

Got those boring old vacation blues?

Got those boring old vacation blues?

Try our Ultimate Survival Cruise!

         No toilet. No shower.

         No electrical power.

Make sure you bring sewage-proof shoes.