There’s nothing I like to hear more

There’s nothing I like to hear more

Than the alarm at my grocery store.

         I do so adore it

         Because they ignore it,
Which allows me to steal more and more.

The political debate is absurd.

The political debate is absurd.

Listen to the latest we’ve heard.

         Mitt Romney said, yes,

         He’ll defund PBS.

Not hunt down and murder Big Bird.

Well, how about that Presidential debate!

Well, how about that Presidential debate!

I’m sure you agree, _________ did great.

      He seemed presidential

      Which, of course, is essential.

Not like that _________, the lightweight.

Air travelers on American’s fleet;

Air travelers on American’s fleet;

Take care while selecting your seat.

         You want to make sure

         It’s bolted to the floor,

Or you’ll spend the whole flight on your feet.