There was a woman named Lois Mae

There was a woman named Lois Mae
Who sadly is not with us today.
Wife, nurse and mother
Above any other,
To Heaven, she’ll show us the way,

Rest in Peace, Lois MacArthur, beloved Mother.

There once was a fellow named Chuck

There once was a fellow named Chuck
Who was having a bad run of luck.
Losing his job and his girl
Had his balls in a whirl
And all he could say about it was, “Bleep” because he worked at the FCC.

Let’s hear it for Rob Blogojevich

Let’s hear it for Rob Blogojevich
He’s one lucky son of a bitch.
After all of the fervor,
That one hold-out juror,
Drove the government’s case in a ditch.

So, Bristol and Levi will wed.

So, Bristol and Levi will wed.
Well, ain’t that a kick in the head.
Sarah’s so unnerved,
She’s making up words.
Like, “painfulnessly detesticlèd.”