Rest in peace, dear Gary Coleman

Rest in peace, dear Gary Coleman
TV Nation’s number one soulman.
We loved him as Arnold,
And when running against Arnold.
For him, Heaven’s Gate has no toll, man.

Senate candidate Linda McHahon,

Senate candidate Linda McHahon,
Of the WWE wrestling clan,
With a flying drop kick
Won the GOP pick.
Guess the Bay Staters are all rasslin’ fans.

Fox News and MSNBC earn

Fox News and MSNBC earn
Reputations that cause some concern.
They must think (I guess),
That “Freedom of the press”
Means “Hit someone with a steam iron”.

I cannot turn my TV or radio on

I cannot turn my TV or radio on
Without hearing about the Cav’s LeBron,
With endless speculation
Of his next destination.
Wake me up when he signs somewhere. Yawn.

There once was a woman named Crystal

There once was a Idol named Crystal
Who’s as hot as the proverbial pistol.
Miss Bowersox
Most definitely rocks
Which makes her hair go all a twistal.

Vote for Crystal Bowersox!

Farewell to Senator Arlen Specter

Farewell to Senator Arlen Specter
The recent Republican defector
The voters of Pennsylvania
In a anti-gov mania
Rejected this avid Keystone protector.

They say the economy is improving,

They say the economy is improving,
But I don’t see my job prospects improving.
I’m still shilling fries
And warm apple pies
While I’d much rather be painting or rooving.

They’re all down on the Mariners’ Ken Griffey

They’re all down on the Mariners’ Ken Griffey
Who failed to report in a jiffy
From the clubhouse, where
He slept in a chair,
To the dugout, which caused such a tiffy.

I’ll admit that I’m in TV fan heaven

I’ll admit that I’m in TV fan heaven
The return of Conan has got me revvin’
But I think it’s bad sport
To try to deport
George Lopez just to be on at eleven

At the recent Emmy ceremony

At the recent Emmy ceremony
They have one to Michael and Tony
They’re fun and informative
Tho not really normative.
But you don’t get awards for bologna.

Congratulations to Tony Kornheiser and MIchael Wilbon, hosts of ESPNs "Pardon the Interruption" and Emmy award winners.

The Prez killed at the DC Press dinner.

The Prez killed at the DC Press dinner.
Against Leno, he was clearly the winner.
Obama got the laughs
Without any gaffes
While Jay only seemed to be chinner.

As we all celebrate Mothers' Day

As we all celebrate Mothers' Day
I have only one thing to say;
Mom, thanks for all you did
When I was a kid
Which has so screwed me up to this day.

There once was a fellow named Ernie

There once was a fellow named Ernie
Whose come to the end of his journey.
He’s run a fine face
And has taken his place
With the baseball and Tiger eterne.

Rest in peace, Ernie Harwell, longtime Detroit Tiger broadcaster, member of the Baseball Hall of Fame.