I asked my Dad, “Why do they say

I asked my Dad, “Why do they say
That 12/26 is Boxing Day?”
He took me to the mall
To experience the brawl
Of the return / exchange counter fray.

Merry _______ Christmas!

The Center is closed today, so please enjoy a offering from the past. Be back tomorrow for Boxing Day.

There once was a reindeer named Dasher
Who consulted a New York haberdasher.
He said, ‘Make me fashionable,
Not normal or rational.
‘Cause I see myself much more panacher.”

There once was a reindeer named Dancer
Who vacationed near the Tropic of Cancer.
She lounged be the pool
Looking sexy and cool
Searching for a buck to romance her.

There once was a reindeer named Prancer
Who wanted to be a break-dander.
The antlers made it rough
So he had them cut off,
Hoping a bald head would be the answer.

There once was a reindeer named Vixen
Whose beauty was very transfixin’
She turned up her nose
At all of her beaux
Whom she led on just to eighty-six ‘em.

There once was a reindeer named Comet
Who asked, “Where’s the island of Guam at?
My stomach’s upset
So I need to get
A balm made of Guam palm to calm it.”

There once was a reindeer named Cupid
Who did something incredibly stupid,
She drank too much grog,
Mulled wine and egg nog,
And got a DUI near Guadelupe

There once was a reindeer named Donder
Who in a past life was a condor.
That might explain why
He soars through the sky,
But the laying of eggs is a wonder.

There once was a reindeer named Blitzen
Who loves New Orleans where she sits in
With a Dixieland band
Playing piano four-hand
While tour groups watch her, kibitzin’

There once was a reindeer named Rudolph
Who is an expert at black-and-blue golf.
In spite of its name
This reindeer game
Is really not quite all that rough.

Jenny sat on the seashore and moped.

Jenny sat on the seashore and moped.
Her vacation had not gone as hoped.
The weather was great;
The hotel was first-rate.
But at the airport she had not been groped.

Obama’s plan for continued tax cuts

Obama’s plan for continued tax cuts
Was a kick in the Democrats’ guts.
“So what it makes sense!
It’s the wrong side of the fencc!
We’re kissing the GOP’s butts.”

The party’s over for old Dandy Don,

The party’s over for old Dandy Don,
So, one more time, let’s sing his song.
This Cowboy QB
Made Monday TV
America’s destination.

R. I. P. Don Meredith – Dallas Cowboy quarterback, Monday Night Football analyst, actor, singer, good ole country boy.

NFL Week XIII - This pretty young wife down in Dallas

This pretty young wife down in Dallas
Feels trapped in her man’s “Cowboy palace”.
For, she misses her home,
And her kin up in Nome
And the beautiful aurora borealis.

NFL Week XII - An East Coaster who moved to Seattle

An East Coaster who moved to Seattle
Said, “My diet is a constant battle.
“Every day I see hawkers
Of hot dogs and tac-ers
I’m afraid that I’ll soon start to waddle.”

NFL Week XII - I know a young girl in Detroit

I know a young girl in Detroit
Who is much too world wise to exploit.
If you think after dinner
You’ll be lyin’ there in her;
At dodging your pass, she’s adroit.

The Tea Party’s fortunes are sailin’

The Tea Party’s fortunes are sailin’
And it has all those liberals wailin’/
In the national vote
The gave Brandie the goat,
Saying, “Keep on dancin’, Bristol Palin.”

NFL Week X - An elderly fellow in Cleveland

An elderly fellow in Cleveland
Wore a button-down shirt with some sleeve bands.
When he tied his brown tie
He thought he would die.
His hands throbbed like you would not believe, man

Go Lions. Beat the Cowboys!

Yay! We’ve thrown all of the rascals out!

Yay! We’ve thrown all of the rascals out!
The people have spoken, with no a doubt.
But, keep on eye on D.C.
‘Cause between you and me,
There’s a new crop of rascals about.

NFL Week IX - A fellow who grew up in Pittsburgh

A fellow who grew up in Pittsburgh
Now lives with the Grand Duchess of Hapsburg.
He said, “It’s an art.
To steal ‘er cold heart.
It’s like making love to an iceburg.

NFL Week IX - A working girl in Tampa Bay

A working girl in Tampa Bay
Charges $100 per lay
If that price makes you balk
And you just want to talk,
Just one buck an ear’s what you pay.

It’s a victory for the old G.O.P.,

It’s a victory for the old G.O.P.,
Fueled by the power of Tea.
If it wasn’t for Palin,
They might have been trailin’
Oh, Sarah, they’re indebted to thee.

So, it’s finally Election Day

So, it’s finally Election Day
Let’s stand up and shout out, “Hooray!”
So, put on your coat,
Get out there and vote,
And make those phone calls go away.