Sign in a porn studio foyer:

Sign in a porn studio foyer:

Hiring a orgasm deployer

From granny to teen,

Overweight to lean

We are an equal opportunity employer.

We’ve watched them pursue Olympic dreams

We’ve watched them pursue Olympic dreams

While swimming or dancing on beams.

         But some of those sports

         Put me out of sorts.

I want more beach volleyball teams.

The Morality Police are quite pissed,

The Morality Police are quite pissed,

Since Superman and Wonder Woman kissed.

         Good thing they don’t know

         That just one year ago,

Batman and Catwoman were undressed.

Since Romney won’t release all his taxes,

Since Romney won’t release all his taxes,

Obama just sits back and relaxes.

         ‘Cause he’s got Joe Biden

         Out yelling, “Just what is he hidin’”

So it does not matter what the facts is.

Here’s to the great Michael Phelps (revisited one more time)

Here’s to the great Michael Phelps

Whose achievement caused much cheers and yelps

         It takes lots of mettle

         To win eight gold medals

And that .01 second sure helps.

Here’s to the great Michael Phelps

Whose bong photo caused much cheers and yelps

         The role model’s creed

Says, “The smoking of weed

Near a picture phone almost never helps.

It OK for gay folks to be wed,

It OK for gay folks to be wed,

At least that’s what the President said.

         Why shouldn’t they

         Wake up every day

Wishing to God they were dead?

There was an Olympian named Bruce

There was an Olympian named Bruce

With enough sex appeal for a moose.

         Now his step-daughters dash

         About like tabloid trash

Faster than a sprinter on “juice”.

Look out, I’ve got Olypmic fever.

Look out, I’ve got Olypmic fever.

I’m training as a javelin retriever,

         A soccer foul faker,

         Freelance drug test taker,

Or official Jamacian dreadlocks weaver.

The political TV ad season

The political TV ad season
Offers acusations beyond reason.

         But to feature Ronmey singing

         Was really quite stinging.

To me, it came very close to treason

The food purveyor, Chick-fil-a

The food purveyor, Chick-fil-a

Has come out against everything gay.

         So some flamboyant queens

         Will be making their scenes

To see what the employees have to say.

Because of some remark of Mitt’s,

Because of some remark of Mitt’s,

We’ve got a riled up pack of Brits.

         Remember 12 score ago?

         We showed them all where to go.

He should have said, “Well, if the shoe fits . .”

There once was a fellow named James

There once was a fellow named James,
One of the commonest of first names,

         But when ABC

         Reported who he might be,

He gained the most grisly of fames.

Now, if that had happened to me,

Off to the lawyers, I would flee.

         I’d sue for defamation

         With my destination

As the new owner of ABC.

The next person who says, “Man, it’s hot,”

The next person who says, “Man, it’s hot,”
I will punch out right there on the spot.

         If you quote me degrees,

         I’ll knock you to your knees.

The heat has just made my nerves shot.

So, Anderson Cooper is gay.

So, Anderson Cooper is gay.

I really don’t know what to say.

         CNN didn’t know

         But they’re changing his show

To AC/DC 360 today.

As naked as the day she was born,

As naked as the day she was born,
The Octomom has got into porn.

         To support her brood,

         She posed in the nude,

Showing off the place she had shorn.