There was a young girl in Atlanta

There was a young girl in Atlanta
Who’ll say anything that she’ll wanta.
It’s falkin’ this and falkin’ that;
Where the falk is my hat.
For sure, she’s getting nothing from Santa.

Two - A - Days continue -- A jai-alai star in Minnesota

A jai-alai star in Minnesota
Had moved up North from Sarasota.
“I relish the cold
Like a Viking of old
But I wish I had brought my pelota.”

There was a young man from Miami

There was a young man from Miami
Who fashioned a boat from a chami.
It sank right away
But our boy was okay.
In the dolphin tank at the Aquariuami.

Two - A - Days continue -- There is a young girl in New England

There is a young girl in New England
Picks up guys in the bars with her girlfriend.
But no man gets a claim
With a foreign last name.
‘Cause they are patriots to the end.

This fellow who lives in New York

This fellow who lives in New York
Is thought to be a giant dork.
He hands out headsets
On passenger jets.
And claims that it’s challenging work.

Two - A - Days continue -- This pretty young wife down in Dallas

This pretty young wife down in Dallas
Feels trapped in her man’s “Cowboy palace”.
For, she misses her home,
And her kin up in Nome
And the beautiful aurora borealis.

A forgetful young man in Chicago

A forgetful young man in Chicago
Was on the stage playing Iago,
But he was not aware
That waist down he was bare
Which the audience saw as bravado.

Two - A- Days continue -- A tanning salon clerk in Washington

A tanning salon clerk in Washington
Said, “I tan with just a g-string on.
So, where my red skin ends
Is where your fun begins.
Yeah, you could think of me as a sure thing, Son.”

A working girl in Tampa Bay

A working girl in Tampa Bay
Charges $100 per lay
If that price makes you balk
And you just want to talk,
Just one buck an ear’s what you pay.

Two - A - Days cpntinue -- A young college do-ed in Denver

A young college co-ed in Denver
Went out on a weekend-long bender.
She woke naked and drunk
On a mechanical bronc.
Oh! She did not know how long she’d been there.

A libidinous woman from Houston

A libidinous woman from Houston
Said, “I’m gonna tell you the truth, son.
You can’t beat the sexin’
You get from a Texan,
Even though they all leave them ol’ boots on.”

Two - A - Days continue -- My old friend Bill loves Buffalo

My old friend Bill loves Buffalo
Where it often gets 20 below.
He keeps his hands warm enough
In his wife’s fur-lined muff.
Though, her ___ does get cold, don’t you know

This girl I know down in New Orleans

This girl I know down in New Orleans
Looks pretty damn good in those jeans.
She says, “S’ain’t no doubt,
“I look better without
‘Em.” I think you know what she means.

Two - A - Days continue -- There is this woman who lives in Green Bay

There is this woman who lives in Green Bay
Who likes to make love in a keen way.
She likes to pack ‘er
Air mattress with crackers
‘Cause the crunching makes a much more obscene lay.

This woman living in San Francisco

This woman living in San Francisco
Like to keep track of the men that she . . . you know.
Number 14 was great
As was 78
But 49 . . . er . . . he was so-so.