I hear some GOPers popped their zippers

I hear some GOPers popped their zippers
When they dropped 2 grand on some strippers.
The Dems in comment
Said, “That’s all they spent?
They must not be very good tippers.”

The ecomony is affecting all of our lives

The economy is affecting all of our lives
The person who cuts is the one who survives.
I’m waiting to see
If that polygamy
Leader will soon be layomg off some wives.

There once was a artist named Prince

There once was a artist named Prince
Whose songs made the old people wince.
But they gave him a role
In the big Super Bowl,
And he’s been mainstream ever since.

Everybody’s doing this P90X.

Everybody’s doing this P90X.
They claim that it’s better than sex.
I don’t want to be rude,
But if you are a dude,
I do not want to eyeball your pecs.

Joe Biden is wacky and zany

Joe Biden is wacky and zany
But again he did something not very brainy.
He said a bad word
Just like the one that we heard
From that wacky and zany Dick Cheney.

Sports radio host Colin Cowherd

Sports radio host Colin Cowherd
With callers, always has the last word.
His learned opinion
Has complete dominion
Over everything everyone’s ever heard.

On Sportsnation, Michelle Beadle

On Sportsnation, Michelle Beadle
Likes to give Colin Cowherd the needle.
She’s perky and smart
And as sharp as a dart.
We just love her out here in Toleedle.

On Man V Food, Adam Richman

On Man V Food, Adam Richman
Is gluttony’s number one pitchman.
Be it burgers or wings
Whatever fate brings,
He devours it with seldom a hitch, man.

There’ll be new episodes of Futurama!

There’ll be new episodes of Futurama!
Tell your auntie, your uncle and Gramma.
Will Leela and Fry
Finally see eye to eye
On this animascificomediadrama?

Tiger Woods will compete at the Masters

Tiger Woods will compete at the Masters
Which could be a media disaster.
Augusta security
Hunting down TMZ;
I am eager to see who is faster.

The Prez has appeared on Fox News

The Prez has appeared on Fox News.
O M G! This is one od the clues
That the Mayans told us
‘Bout the world going bust.
Hang on to your hats and your shoes.

Hey, you kids! Cut out that racket!

Hey, you kids! Cut out that racket!
I’m trying to complete my bracket.
Should I stick with Duke
Or by some strange fluke;
Will Arkansas – Pine Bluff attack it?

There once was a fellow named Floyd

There once was a fellow named Floyd
Who peddled the evil steroid.
Now that baseball is clean
He’s changing his scene.
As a Ritalin salesman he’s employed.

In places where the dark coffee bruews

In places where the dark coffee bruews
Some GOPers are exchanging their views
And more progressive thought
On the problems we’ve wrought;
But I’ve not seen it covered on Fox News.

There’s a fellow in Congress named Massa

There’s a fellow in Congress named Massa
Who plays “Legislative Grab-Assa”,
He claims he was outed
Because he had doubted
The value that the health care bill hasa.

Near San Diego, a runaway Prius

Near San Diego, a runaway Prius
Hit the freeway with speeds in the ninetias.
A CHiP stopped his auto
And no thanks to Toyota
Mr. Sikes is still with us to read this.

EL CAJON, Calif. – A Toyota Prius that sped out of control on a California freeway was towed to a dealership Tuesday while federal and company inspectors converged on the car to determine whether a stuck gas pedal was to blame. James Sikes, 61, of Jacumba, told authorities that the accelerator malfunctioned Monday as he drove his Prius on Interstate 8 in San Diego County. The car reached 94 mph during the 20 minutes before a California Highway Patrol officer helped get the Prius driver to slow down and turn off the engine.

Hey, DC, I want a flight ring!

Hey, DC, I want a flight ring!
Just a small little, gold-colored thing.
I promise I won’t try
To use it to fly,
But I’ll feel like a (Chemical) King.*

Comic book fans have united! Followers of DC Comics’ 50 year old franshise, The Legion of Super Heroes, are banding together (yours truly included) to petition for a plastic replica “flight ring” to promote a new series of the teenaged super-heroes from the future. Because we have nothing better to do.

*It would take to long to explain.

Sarah Palin got caught with a cribb sheet

Sarah Palin got caught with a cribb sheet
On her hands, and her arms and her bare feet.
But let he without sin
Make the stoning begin.
As for me, on my eye test I had to cheat.

I do not watch TV’s Jersey Shore.

I do not watch TV’s Jersey Shore.
Watching people act dumb is a bore.
And for the same reason,
Whatever the season,
I don’t watch The View any more.

On health care, Obama threw down the gauntlet,

On health care, Obama threw down the gauntlet,
The Prez has mad clout and he’s flaunt’n it.
Either pass the damn bill,
Or he swears that he will
Hang out at Congress like he’s haunt’n it.

The Canadians have made me a believer

The Canadians have made me a believer
When I saw on my TV receiver
That you can fix any mistakes;
And all that it takes
Is a giant inflatable beaver.

I have become obsessed with curling.

I have become obsessed with curling.
The excitement just has my head swirling.
A fine bit of sweeping
Just gets me to weeping.
I can’t wait to get my own stone hurling.